The dark side of Perfection

I was watching the movie Gattaca again recently—a film I’ve always loved. I first saw it when I was 26, just a day after my birthday. It touched something deep inside me.

The whole movie carries this powerful undercurrent of commitment—almost blind commitment. Self-belief. Extreme attention to detail. And the relentless dedication to a goal, no matter what.

But what struck me the most was a single sentence Ethan Hawke says to Uma Thurman at the end of the movie:

“When perfection is the standard, all you’ll ever see is imperfection.”

That hit a nerve.

It reminded me of my childhood.

Growing up, there was only one thing expected: perfection. If something was less than perfect, I had two choices: face an argument—or hide it. Maybe even lie about it.

That pattern quietly rippled into my teenage years, and then into adulthood. It became second nature.

It took years of intentional work to change that mindset. Years to realise that life isn’t meant to be flawless—and that I didn’t have to be flawless either. I had to give myself permission to get messy, to try things out before I felt ready, and to embrace being the “not-me” version of myself from time to time.

It’s hard work, especially when you weren’t given the tools.

But here’s something I’ve learned—not just from my own life, but from coaching others, too:

Most people are secretly waiting for perfection before they act.

“Just one more course or certification before I apply to my dream job…”
“Just a few more months of saving at this job, then I’ll resign…”
“Just a couple more years before we have children…”

But guess what? The perfect moment never comes.

Right here, right now, in this very moment—I encourage you to act before you feel ready. Because that moment of feeling “ready” is an illusion.

Every single one of my clients eventually comes to the same truth:

“Your actions create momentum—not the preparation.”

So I rephrased that Gattaca quote into two powerful truths of my own:

“Perfection is a lie we’re sold, to keep doubting ourselves.”
“Perfection is poison—it kills what makes us real.”

Now I’d love to leave you with two questions:

• Where in your life are you currently holding yourself to a standard of perfection?
• Why is that so important to you?

You might be surprised by what you find, if you’re brave enough to be honest with yourself.

Love,
Laszlo