Why are You really in the Room?
In 2018, I joined a corporate negotiation training. And no—participation wasn’t optional. Our entire sales team had to be there.
What unfolded was… fascinating.
The group quickly split into two camps:
1. The Resistants – arms crossed, eyes rolling, counting the minutes – 90%
2. The Enthusiasts – curious, scribbling notes, asking great questions – 10%
Here’s what’s wild:
Both groups spent the exact same amount of time in the same room, with the same trainer, covering the same material.
But everything else?
Totally different.
Presence.
Openness.
Cooperation.
Engagement.
Involvement.
Takeaways.
Results.
I’ll never forget it.
And it taught me something I now share with my own clients—especially when they attend a group program, event, or workshop.
Before the session even starts, I tell them this:
“Imagine that the reason you’re here is not the reason you think you’re here.”
Read that again. Out loud.
“The reason I’m here is not the reason I think I’m here.”
See, we all walk into these rooms with something dangerous: expectation(s).
Expectations narrow our vision. They filter what we hear, see, and experience. It’s like wearing tinted glasses that only let in one color of light.
I used to play a game at school:
“Look around the room and count all the red objects.”
Then I’d ask: “Great! Now—how many blue ones did you see?”
…Blank stares.
Because when you’re only looking for red, you miss everything else.
And that’s what expectations do.
So here’s your challenge, next time you walk into a training, event, or conversation:
1. Leave your expectations at the door.
Try on the idea that you’re here for a reason you haven’t discovered yet.
2. Listen for insights, not agreement.
You don’t have to nod at everything. Just ask: “Why might I need to hear this right now?”
The results?
Deeper insights.
Better takeaways.
More interesting conversations.
And way more growth than you expected.
Key takeaway:
“Your level of presence defines the level of transformation available to you.”
Love,
Laszlo
